Adventures in Sewing

 In May I went to California to see my sister and meet my youngest niece. While I was there my sister mentioned she had a bunch of fabric but no time to sew. She intended to sew, but her baby came so quickly that it just didn't happen. Feeling her pain and needing something to do I offered to take the fabric and make some clothing her her 2 girls.


Throughout the summer I sewed like a mad woman and learned a few things here and there. 












The biggest thing I have learned is that I really wish I had a teacher who was a seamstress who could help my in this sewing endeavor. I would so love to be able to make clothing from commercial patterns that look professionally done and eventually learn to draft my own patterns. The second was reinforce the crotch of the pants. 


I am currently making halloween costumes and will hopefully post when they are done.


Product Review: Pampered Chef Cookie press Vs. Wilton Cookie Press



 During Christmas time I love to make these eggnog spritz cookies from Betty Crocker. I have probably been making them on and off for the last 15 years. The tough part about these cookies is that they require a cookie press.

When I first started making them I bought a Wilton Cookie press at Michael's and it has worked just fine. The one problem is that the cookies are always so small.  

Maybe it's just me, but who wants to eat a dainty little cookie. 



This summer during the lockdown for the Covid-19 I found a pampered chef cookie press for like $10 on a yard sale site in my area.

Since I pretty much love Pampered Chef stuff I jumped on it. The best part about this cookie press is it looks like it makes pretty big cookies.

During the lockdown I baked a fair amount of cookies, but saved the spritz cookies until now (Christmas). Excited I pulled out all the ingredients (see below for the recipe) and my pampered chef cookie press.

Once everything was mixed well I loaded the press with the dough, put on the template and started to press.  Sadly things did not go well and my cookies looked like crap. After try 4 times I switched to my trusty wilton cookie press and had at it.

The dough kept sticking


The pretty cookies are
from the Wilton Press. 
The blob is from
the Pampered Chef press.

So long story short I ended up using the Wilton press to make the cookies and gave up on the Pampered Chef one. I will try again  one of these days, but in my opinion just get a Wilton Press and skip the Pampered chef one.


Here's the cookie recipe: (fyi I'm not sure I get 6 dozen cookies but it does make quite a few).

Glazed Eggnog Spritz 

Servings: about 6 dozen

Ingredients


Cookies

¾ cup granulated sugar

1 cup butter or margarine, softened

2 tsp vanilla

2 tsp rum flavor

1 egg

2 ¼ cups flour

1 tsp ground nutmeg


Rum Glaze

2 TBS butter or margarine, melted

1 cup powdered sugar

1 tsp rum flavor

1 TBS water

½ tsp ground nutmeg (optional)


 

Directions

Cookies: Heat oven to 350° (if using dark or non-stick cookie sheet, heat to 325°). In large bowl beat granulated sugar and sugar until fluffy. Beat in vanilla, rum and egg until smooth. Add flour and nutmeg. Place ¼ cookie dough into cookie press and press on ungreased cookie sheet desired shapes. Bake 6 to 10 minutes until edges are lightly brown. Cool 1 minute then move to wire rack to cool completely.

Rum Glaze: In a small bowl stir all glaze ingredients, except nutmeg, together until smooth. Pour mixture into small sandwich bag (or icing bottle). Cut corner of bag and drizzle glaze over cookies. Sprinkle nutmeg over glaze before it sets.

Recipe Review: Pasta Fagioli Soup


So its 4 pm on a Wednesday afternoon and I need to figure out what to do for dinner. I have chicken in the fridge from Costco and some sausage I need to use. So I text my husband and give him a couple of options: Chicken noodle soup, Minestrone soup,  or a chicken casserole of some kind. While he loves my chicken noodle he chose the minestrone soup.

Great! Pinterest here I come to see what I need for minestrone soup. Sometimes I forget how many choices Pinterest offers . . . it. can be a bit overwhelming.

Anyway I see a picture with some little round noodles (Ditalini Pasta) and I know I have those noodles in my pantry. When I open the link it was for Pasta Fagioli Soup. Close enough to minestrone so that's what I decide to make.

The recipe I used is by www.cookingclassy.com

The ingredient list is pretty simple with ground beef, onions, carrots, celery, garlic, diced tomatoes, tomato sauce, chicken stock, kidney beans, great northern beans and water. There are a bunch of spices too but you can just use Italian seasoning if you have it.

Since I didn't have ground beef thawed but sausage I used that. I also decided to use butter beans instead of great northern beans. I have the great northern beans in my pantry, but I was curious what butter beans were. I bought them for something but I can't remember what so in the pot they went.


Look at how pretty my soup looks bubbling away. 


One thing I learned from cookingclassy.com was that if you want to freeze soup to cook the noodles separately. Genius!!!


So that is what I did. It turned out great and my husband loved it. When I served dinner I made sure each person was able to scoop in the amount of noodles then top it with the soup or visa versa if they so desired.


Family Reviews 

Each member gets to give a meal a rating. One means that it wasn't good and ten means it was spectacular.

Husband: Gave it a 9.0. He commented that he loved the noodles on the side.

Me: It was really good. I rated it a 9. I'm not really a minestrone soup person, but this was really good.

15 year old daughter: She rated it a 7 or 8. I guess she really didn't like it all that much.

3 year old daughter: ate the noodles but with butter and some cheese.

19 month old son: ate all the soup and had seconds.


Overall, I think this is a good recipe.




Recipe Review: Cranberry Orange Scones

Fall is in the air and I thought a little sweet treat might be just what my tired soul needed. Still trying to eat JERF (Just East Real Food) I made some yummy little scones from the Instant Loss Cookbook by Brittany Willams. Since the recipe is copyrighted I won't be posting it here. However there are some similar recipes on her blog Instant Loss. So feel free to go there and browse.

Please, note that everything said on this post I my own opinion and I am not affiliated or receive any compensation from Brittany, the cookbook sales or from her Blog. What is said here is just for my own personal benefit. 


Cranberry Orange Scones - page 52


This is the photo from the book. Don't those look yummy!!!!

The basic ingredients needed for these little biscuits are: almond flour, sea salt, baking soda, eggs, agave nectar, avocado oil, orange zest, and dried cranberries.

Looking at the ingredients list I didn't see anything too surprising except for the agave nectar. Luckily, I have been dieting most of my life and happened to have some in my pantry. I think you could probably use honey if you needed to or maybe even maple syrup as I think it has a similar consistency and sweetness.

I measured out the ingredients according to the directions except the orange zest and cranberries. I will admit since I had an orange I just zested the whole thing. It probably came out to more than a tablespoon, but orange is such a refreshing flavor I though who cares. 

I also just grabbed a handful of the dried cranberries (or rather Crasins). I think it was probably about 1/2 a cup but a little more or a little less never hurt anyone.

The dough was pretty stiff and the texture looked gritty. It was probably due to the flour being a nut flour and I will admit I was a bit nervous as to whether these would be dry or moist.

I lined my baking sheet with a silicone mat, instead of spraying it with oil and portioned out the dough using a # 20 scoop from pampered chef. I was only able to get twelve scones, so I'm pretty sure my scoop was probably double the size it should have been. Next time I will have to use a smaller scoop.

Note: The recipe indicates I should have been able to make 20 to 24 scones.

I slid the pan in the preheated oven and baked them for probably 15 to 20 minutes until they were golden brown. When they were finished I think they looked just as good as the stock photo in the book.

Since I wasn't expecting to do a recipe review I failed to take pictures along the way. Luckily though, I had four scones left over in my fridge (see picture below). They are 4 days old but they still taste delicious (yeah there's only three pictured because one is in my tummy).


My scones 


Family Review

Husband - Hasn't tried them. He isn't much for sweets.

Me - I thought they were lovely. The orange is pronounced, but not in a bad way. It was more like an iced orange roll flavor . . . if that makes any sense. They are sweet with the orange and tart with the cranberries. Can't say it enough these little babies are good. 

The only thing that is off putting with these scones is the texture. Initially it was grainy, kind of like a cornbread texture. It definitely was not the smooth biscuit texture I am used to with scones. The one I had after it sat for 4 days was a lot smoother. I didn't get the grainy texture at all. I wonder if I had let the batter sit for 30 or 40 minutes if it wouldn't have been as grainy. . . . Something to think about for next time. 

These treats are dense and I could only eat one, maybe two in a sitting. This could be because I made them rather large or maybe because they are pretty sweet even though no processed sugar was used. Whatever the reason I wouldn't expect the whole batch to be gone in a day. I also wouldn't double the recipe unless I was planning to freeze some for later.

My fifteen year old daughter - She found the texture off putting and really didn't like them. She didn't complain of the taste only that they were grainy and "They had a weird texture."


My three year old daughter - I told her these were orange cookies and if it has "cookie" in it she loves it. Out of my children she has eaten the most of them. Oh and she is typically my very very picky child.

My nineteen month old son - He didn't seem to care for them. When I first made them I gave him one right after it cooled and he mostly played with it. I will admit it is a new food for him so it might take him time to get used to it. I did try over the course of 3 days add one to his lunch plate, but he completely ignored the scone each time.

Conclusion

Although the scones were on the dense side they were absolutely lovely for a little treat. I can imagine eating these during tea time (yeah my husband took me on a cruise that had tea time and now I'm kind of obsessed) or as a snack with coffee. 

One last thought . . . while this recipe was placed in a section of the book that listed them as a breakfast option  I, however, think they are too sweet for breakfast. I think the cookie assessment or maybe a small cake is a more accurate. One of these scones warmed  and topped with some vanilla ice cream. Yum! Now that would make a very lovely dessert. 

In conclusion I would most definitely, hands down make these scones again.  They were delicious and required no special equipment. The directions were easy to understand and quite frankly they were easier to make than pancakes or waffles.






Recipe Review: Spicy Thai Pizza and Veggie Spring Rolls

Lately, I have been trying to eat cleaner and stay away from processed foods. I'll admit I'm not very successful since I love me some good food, but I'm giving it the old college try here and there. 

The other night I made two recipes from the book Instant Loss Eat Real, Lose Weight by Brittany Willams.

This is a cook book that focuses on eating real (non-processed) food. The overall mantra is Just Eat Real Food (JERF).

I chose these two recipes because they seemed to go together and I didn't want to have a lot of leftovers.   

In this post I'll share what I learned while making the recipes and how I modified them, if applicable. 

Also, please note that since these recipes are copyrighted I can't post them here.  At the end of this post I have included some additional information about the book I used and the author Brittany Willams.

Thai Pizza - Page 232

This was a reasonably easy dish to make. As you can see from the stock photo from the book there are lots of veggies and it appears to have a relatively thin crust. The ingredients were pretty normal except for the dough called for cassava flour. 

When I decided to make this recipe I thought I had cassava flour in the pantry as I had purchased most of the flours, spices and oils this book called for. However, I was wrong and had to substitute gluten free flour for the cassava flour.

What I learned about cassava flour is that it is closely related to all-purpose flour in its texture during baking. A lot of sources mentioned it was a 1:1 substitution rate between the two flours. 

There were, however, a couple of sources that mentioned cassava flour tended to soak up more liquid than all-purpose flour. Their suggestion was to use slightly less than the 1:1 substitution ration. This could be why Brittany's recipe stated 2/3 cup cassava flour instead of 1 cup. Because of this suggestion I used 1 cup of the gluten free flour.

Now that I think on it,  I probably could have used 1 cup of all-purpose flour as well and the dough would have turned out just fine. Maybe next time I will make it I will give it a try just to see.

The other ingredients the crust called for were: arrowroot flour, onion powder, garlic powder, sea salt, an egg, water and olive oil. 

I used avocado oil instead of olive oil, because I was out of olive oil (again I should have checked my pantry better, but oh well).


The dough was pretty sticky and tough initially, but man oh man did it smell yummy. The onion and garlic powder were  really nice additions. 


think I could have added some additional spices like rosemary or sage to change the flavor profile of the dough or maybe parmesan cheese and it would have been good as well. That, though is for another time and another cooking adventure.


After the dough sat for 5 minutes or so it was time to shape it. Brittany Williams, the author of this book said to sprinkle cassava flour on parchment paper before putting the dough on it to rollout. Since I didn't have cassava flour I looked at another of her pizza dough recipes and she mentioned using coconut flour. Now I did have coconut flour in the good ol' pantry (score one for me) so I used that. 

I have never used coconut flour before so I wasn't sure what to expect. This flour is kinda gritty. It probably has about the same texture as a fine corn meal or semonlina flour. 



When I got the dough on the parchment paper I kind of had to push it out to pizza size (about 10 inches). The directions on how to do this are in the book, and Brittany does a wonderful job explaining it.


Once the pizza stone in my oven was heated I put the dough on and cooked it for about 5 minutes.


Now let's jump to getting the rest of the ingredients prepared . . .

Earlier in the week I had thought to prepare the spicy peanut sauce which calls for: peanut butter, rice wine vinegar, maple syrup, coconut aminos (think soy sauce), and sriracha. It was really easy but called for an immersion blender. I think I could have used a whisk or maybe my little bullet blender instead.

My mistake though was failing to pre cut the vegetables as it took a fair amount of time. 

I think it took me about 45 minutes to an hour to prep the veggies for both the spring rolls and the pizza. In hindsight I shouldn't have cut as many vegetables that I did and I might have saved myself some time and left over vegetables.

Side Note: I had a hard time finding snow peas so I bought a fairly large container of them thinking I might need them. In all honestly, though I probably only needed about 10 or so snow peas (maybe a small handful) so I should  have just gotten them individually instead of in a package. I will have to remember this for next time.

spring roll veggies (aren't they pretty)

veggies for the pizza

The vegetables differed for the two recipes in that the spring rolls called for cucumber, mint, cilantro and purple cabbage and the pizza called for snow peas. Luckily, both called for peppers and carrots.


If I had to organize cutting the veggies differently I would have shredded all the carrots like in the pizza (this was tons easier than julienning them as directed for the spring rolls). Then set aside a small handful of the peppers, carrots and snow peas for the pizza. With the rest of the peppers, carrots and even snow peas, I would have mixed them with the cabbage, mint, cilantro and cucumber and called it good. 


Shoot thinking back instead of julienning the cucumber I probably could have shredded them  like the carrots. I might not have gotten as much of a crunch, but I think assembling the spring rolls might have been easier - less hard chunks of veggies to pole through the rolls wrapper. Lesson learned maybe I'll try that next time and see how it works.


Had the veggies been a little sparse for the spring rolls, I could have been made up with the micro greens and lettuce. Instead I ended up with way way way too many vegetables left over after I had finished assembling the meal. I guess I'll have to figure out how to use them.


Jumping back to the Pizza . . . 

Once the pizza came out of the oven I put mozzarella cheese on it and put it back in the oven for another 7 to 8 minutes. You want the crust to get brownish . . . Think nice golden tan.

After my timer went off I took the pizza out of the oven and topped it with the veggies and peanut sauce.

My finished pizza - doesn't that look yummy!


Spring Rolls - Page 224


Once I had the pizza out of the oven cooling (no one like to burn the top of their mouth on hot pizza). I started on the Spring Rolls. 

I have never in my life made spring rolls before, so luckily the directions in the book were once again really good. while reading through the direction I noticed that all the veggies I had so nicely cut and put on the plate needed to be tossed together in a bowl.  

Opps! my bad.  

So, I dumped all the veggies in a bowl (including the leftover pizza veggies) and gave it a good toss. Then I started making my spring rolls.

The spring roll wrappers were pretty stiff, initially (its just a dried rice paper), so the first one I made I let the wrapper soak too long (maybe 45 seconds to a minute). It rolled nicely, but the wrapper was pretty slimy. The next few I adjust the time the wrapper soaked and the sweet spot seemed to be probably around 30 seconds. (I just counted to 30 in my head.) It got the wrapper soft enough to roll, but not very sticky. 

I did learn that as the wrapper soaks up more water it does loosen up. I guess you could soak for 30 seconds, then put it on your cutting board for another 5 second to loosen up more with the residual water before you add your greens and vegetables. This would allow time for your wrapper to soak up any additional water to make it more pliable without getting it too sticky.

I used spinach instead of lettuce because, again you guessed it, I had spinach and didn't want to buy a bunch of extra stuff. The spinach worked great so don't be afraid to try different greens or shoot no greens at all. 

Brittany, even mentions in her book that you can put just about anything in a spring roll wrapper for a light delicious lunch. I concur with her assessment and can't wait to see what else I can put in these little bundles.

I also added some chopped up shrimp to about half of my Spring rolls. 

Hey my husband likes meat and so far this meal was looking very vegetarian. As it turned out the shrimp was a great move.

I assembled the rolls like this: spinach (3 leaves), veggies from the bowl, shrimp (if I added it), micro greens, and then rolled it up like a burrito. 

Overall, the spring rolls were very easy to make. 

The most time consuming part was chopping all the vegetables. So my advice here would be chop everything earlier in the day or week if you think you might be pressed for time.


Some of the finished Spring Rolls with leftover Peanut Sauce from the pizza




Family Food Review

Husband - He loved the Spring Rolls with Peanut Sauce. He pretty much ate them all, all by himself. He thought the pizza was good too. However, once he found out the crust was gluten free he was a bit on the weary side. He's a bit old fashioned that way.

Me - I really liked it. I had Gastric Bypass with an additional stomach surgery about 5 years ago so pizza. tends to make me feel a bit sick if I eat too much of it. I had two slices of this pizza and felt fine. The peanut sauce was just spicy enough to remind me of the satay peanut sauce which I love love love. 

The crust was soft, but not gummy. It't kind of hard to describe . . . I guess it was a mixture of cornbread and sandwich bread. It stayed together really nicely like sandwich bread but was more dense like corn bread. It was delicious. You know this pizza kind of reminded me of an asian pizza I used to get at California Pizza Kitchen (CPK for those who are familiar with this chain).


The spring rolls were good ( I had one with shrimp and one without), but they were on the bland side, in my opinion, without the dipping sauce. I am a woman though who likes dressing on her salad. I wish they would have been able to stand more on their own without the sauce. I think I could have added a slight dressing to the veggie mix, maybe a little lemon, oil, salt and pepper, and the spring rolls wouldn't have needed the sauce as much.

Fifteen year old daughter - She did not like the spring rolls (it was probably too much salad for her), but she loved the pizza.  She asked that I make the pizza again. Oh and she was gone when we ate so she had leftovers. She had no idea the crust was gluten free which I consider a win.

Three year old daughter - She wouldn't even try it. We tried, but "it has green things on it!" was her cry and "I don't love it!" - oh well what can you do. . .  she's three. Next time I will try to make the pizza and leave a slice for her that doesn't have any veggies on it. Maybe then she will eat it.

19 month old son - He tried the spring rolls but wasn't impressed with the greens. He kept pulling them out of his mouth like it was hair or something and scrunching up his face. He did however eat three slices of the pizza and loved dipping it in the peanut sauce. He doesn't talk much but he kept pointing to the peanut sauce and wanting more on his plate. I, of course, obliged.

Conclusion

Overall, I think this meal was a success! Four out of the five family members ate it and even enjoyed it. I will definitely make the pizza and peanut sauce again. 

I didn't need to have any special equipment, but some of the ingredients were tricky for me to find in Southern Utah (spring roll wrappers, snow peas and micro greens). I found everything, but not until I went to three different stores. 

Note to self just start at Harmons. They are pricier, but had everything I needed.

As for the spring rolls . . . I will probably make them for myself and my husband, but I'm not sure I will waste the time for my kids. At least until they get a bit older.

If you think you would like to try these recipes you can get Brittany's book on Amazon (as I did) or any number of fine retailers she has listed on her blog. You can also find some free recipes and more information on her through her blog Instant Loss

Disclaimer: This is my unbiased opinion of the recipes and simply for my own benefit. There is no compensation and I have no affiliation with the book, recipes or blog mentioned. 



















Pumpkins, Pumpkins, Pumpkins

 Fall to me means apples and pumpkins.

I love apple pie and pumpkin spice. Normally for my holiday baking I use canned pumpkin because it's cheap and let's be totally honest I didn't know how to make fresh pumpkin puree. So, I did a bit of research on Pinterest and discovered I could cook my pumpkin in the Instant pot pretty easily. Luckily I have one so that is what I decided to use.


Cooking The Pumpkin

I choose 3 small pumpkins (I just estimated that they would fit in my pot) and washed the outsides. 

What I read online said you could just put the whole pumpkin in the instant pot (seeds and all) on a trivet, add 1 cup of water, cook for 30 minutes and then quick release. Once you pull the pumpkin out you are to let it cool a bit then you should be able to peel off the skin, scrape out the seeds and harvest the lovely pumpkin flesh.

This seemed simple enough so I chose the pumpkin that actually fit in my instant pot (the other two were slightly too big). Put it on the trivet, poured in the water and set the pot to cook for 30 minutes. . . . . Then I forgot about (or rather got too busy running after my kids). 


Instead of doing the quick release I let the pot naturally release/warm for 38 minutes. My pumpkin cooked and was pretty much mush. The seeds scraped out very easily and the skin disintegrated at my touch. It was a mess.


Pumpkin #2



For my second attempt I cut a pumpkin in half and removed the seeds while I was in there. Note: you can save the seeds if you like roasted pumpkin seeds. I put water in the pot, put a pumpkin half on the trivet and once again set the timer for 30 minutes. I kind of got busy again with the kids and let the pot natural release/warm for 15 minutes.




It was more firm than the other pumpkin I did, but not soft enough to scoop out the flesh. I put it back in the instant pot and cooked it another 6 minutes. This seemed to do the trick and the pumpkin skin came off really nicely.



For the second half of this pumpkin I decided to cook for 36 minutes and see if that was any better. I however got busy once again and let it natural release for 15 min. 


This seemed to be the sweet spot, at least for me. The flesh was soft and it was easy to take off the peel. 


Storage

After I cooked all the pumpkins I divided the flesh in 15 oz portions, put them in food saver bags and froze them. Everything I read said you can't can pumpkin puree because it is too thick to adequately heat enough to kill everything that could be lingering in it. Freezing seemed the safest way to store my cooked pumpkin. Maybe, just maybe next time I will cut the pumpkin in chunks and try canning it.


Things I learned:

1. Getting busy when using the instant pot will cause overcooked mushy food. Yuck!
2. The pumpkin was easier to handle and scrape out the flesh when the pumpkin seeds were removed prior to cooking. It was a lot less gooey.
3. Fresh pumpkin puree has a lot more water than canned. I might try next time to squeeze the excess liquid out. 


How I Made Pumpkin Puree with the Instant Pot


Small Pumpkin

1 cup water


Directions:

Cut Pumpkin in half and remove the seeds. Save the seeds for later if you want roasted pumpkin seeds. Put the water in the instant pot place. Put the pumpkin on a trivet and place in the instant pot. Set the cooking time for 36 min and let natural release for 15 minutes. Remove the pumpkin from the pot and let cool until you can handle it without burning your hands. Scrape the flesh from the skin (be careful as the skin will fall apart pretty easily) and put it in a bowl. Mash and use as you would for pumpkin puree.

Help! I'm Turning 40

This year (2020) has been a tough one for me. Covid has not been my friend, causing me to spend way way too much time with my children and neglecting my self care. Don't get me wrong I love my kids, but a 15 yr. old, a 3 yr. old and a 1 yr. old are a lot of work. While it might sound like I am complaining, I promise I'm not. I'm just an almost 40-year-old woman who once defined herself by her job and now isn't quite sure who she is anymore.

Just so you understand my predicament here is my basic background. In 2007,  I was widowed with a 2 yr. old to care for. When my husband passed away, we had just moved to a new city in Utah. I had been a stay at home mom at the time, so I had to immediately start looking for work. Living with in-laws, in a new city and starting a new job caused that year and the following year to be really tough. 

I was able to find a job in the manufacturing industry and worked for that same company for 12 years. I started as a line staff and worked my way up to the Quality Assurance Manager of the facility. It was exciting work, in that I felt useful, needed and valued. The hours were long, I was often stressed out and I had to miss what seemed like much of my daughter's childhood, but I enjoyed what I did. Overall, I used it as a way to define who I was. 

Fast forward to 2016, I was blessed (yes totally blessed) to meet the man who is now my husband. I can't sing his praises enough as he is truly my better half. We met in January and married in December of that year. He adopted (not legally, but figuratively) my daughter and in mid 2017 we welcomed another little girl into our lives. I was still working at this time, but longed for when I could stay home and raise my kids. In March of 2019 we were blessed again and my son made his appearance. During this year my husband finished a program earning a Master's in Law and I was finally able to retire. 

My dream had come true! I got to stay home with my kids. What I didn't realize was how bored and useless I would feel. Yes, I had looked on the internet and read a number of blogs about this subject so I felt informed. I anticipated the change and thought I was ready for it. There was no way though, to be prepared for the adventure ahead. I had forgotten over ten years the lack of thank you's and the monotony of being home alone all day with little people who couldn't talk. They didn't care if I showered or brushed my teeth. Finding a reason to get out of jammies and sweat pants became a job in and of itself. Have you ever seen Mister Mom? You know the scenes in the beginning where Michael Keaton lets his beard grow out, the house was a mess, the kids were a mess, and he is battling the appliances. Well that was pretty much me. I was surrounded by emotional terrorists and my brain was going to mush after watching so many hours of Mickey Mouse club and Peppa Pig. I needed an outlet desperately.

Staying at home started off well in June. . . I was potty training my then 2 yr. old, feeling accomplished by breastfeeding my infant (this was no easy feat for me), and taking the kids to library time and the parks so I didn't go stir crazy cooped up in the house. Shoot, I was even able to take a cruise with my husband. I thought I was handling it pretty well. Ooohhh little did I know what was in store.

In January there were rumblings of Covid on the news, but that was in China so why worry about it. Also, in January, our little family was able to take a cruise with my in-laws which sailed out of California. This allowed me to see some of my family after we got off the ship, but before we left for Utah. Since I hadn't seen my family in over a year this was good for my soul. I'm not a terribly social person being more of an introvert so family is very very important to me socially speaking.

In March the world fell apart due to Covid; vacations were cancelled, school let out for spring break and closed until August, and my library time/park outlet disappeared. My weight increased (I was now at the weight I was when I gave birth to my last child, which was discouraging) and I was stuck indoors with a very social 15 year old, a spoiled 2 (almost 3) year old and a 1 year old who were out each other's throats. My oldest, (let's call her Turbo) decided that it was her responsibility to keep the other two in line. This caused the 3 year old (let's call her Sweet Pea or Special Angel) to often scream and cry at not being allowed any autonomy in her choices. It was Turbo's way or no way. The youngest (let's call him Bubby) doesn't talk yet, but since he was teething, he was often covered in drool which angered Sweet Pea as everything he touched tended to end up covered in spit. Each day was a chorus of "SweetPea you have to do this or that", "Stop that Turbo!" and " Mom!!! Bubby is going to slobber all over it!!", punctuated by the sweet shrieks of a baby velociraptor. One day I might miss those shrieks, but not today.

To keep my sanity, I tried a few things like gardening, quilting, crocheting, and the culinary arts. I have done some of these in the past and enjoyed them, but I took them on, this time, with gusto - after all I had time to hone my skills and free baby-sitting from Turbo. I'm sure my husband cringed every time I said I wanted to try something as it was; 1) bound to be expensive,  2) probably something I would inevitably screw up and 3) cause me to get depressed that I wasted time and money on the project that I had failed at. Oh, did I mention I am bit of a perfectionist. Knowing my quirks and loving me anyway, my husband was a good sport and supported me just the same. Again, can't sing his praises enough . . .I'm not sure how I landed him, but I'm so very grateful he's mine.

Now, I'm 2 weeks away from my 40th birthday and I just don't feel like I've accomplished anything. There are no accolades on my walls, I have no social circle anymore (since it was all tied to my job which I no longer have)  and everyone is in quarantine, so the only thing I have to show for my 40 years on earth right now are my children. Sadly, from the behavior of my little monsters (I say that lovingly) I fear I might have even failed at that. I knew there would be fighting. I just didn't expect quite so much of it and I grew up with four siblings. 

Long story short I am struggling. I hope that by doing this blog I will be able to look back when I'm at the brink of 50  (hopefully not feeling quite as useless) and remember those things I have accomplished, even if it is only within my home or with my children. Shoot maybe this will give me enough to do to help me get through this next month. All in all, I'm just glad that school is back in session so there's a little less yelling in my home.